Year Sixteen
Issue No. 930 - 18/Rabi-2/1432 AH
Corresponding to March 22, 2011 AD

Contents:
* Mihrab Platform:
The Good Manners of a Virtuous Family and the Elements of Successful Upbringing

Mihrab Platform

The Good Manners of a Virtuous Family and the Elements of Successful Upbringing

The main axes of the subject:
a- Elements of success in raising a family.
b- Family responsibilities.

Purpose:

How can we make a family become a stable institution, capable of practicing its role and responsibilities?

Subject statement:

The messenger of Allah (s.a.a.w)¹ said, "The best men of my nation are those who do not encroach or wrong their wives and those who treat them kindly"²

a- Elements of successful upbringing:

A family of husband, wife, and children requires a special methodology and strong bonds in its relationships as well as individual treatments in order to reach happiness, obtain the required perfection, and meet the desired goals and aspirations.

This in return will help overcome life difficulties and solve all the problems that stand in the way.

The most important elements are:

1- Love:

One of the most important pillars of achieving this element is the wife whose spirit roars with feelings and her heart fills with delicate sensations. She can exploit these feelings in order to cast the spirit of love on her husband and children through her soundness and the solidity of her faith.

On one occasion, a man came to the prophet (s.a.a.w) and said, "I have a wife who greets me on arrival and bids me farewell on departure. If she sees me concerned she would say: 'What concerns you? If you are worried about your means of living, someone has taken care of it; if you are worried about your next life, may God increase your concern'."

The prophet (s.a.a.w) replied, "Greet her with heavens and tell her that she is one of God's servants and that she receives each day the reward of seventy martyrs."³

Commander of the Faithful “Ali Bin Abi Talib" was quoted as saying, "A Father's love is in children's proximity."⁴

The Exalted says, "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect."⁵

2- Cooperation:

Islam encourages the members of the one family to cooperate amongst each other, especially the parents who are the two main pillars of the family.

The prophet (s.a.a.w) was quoted as saying, "Serving your wife is a charity."

Commander of the Faithful (a.s.)⁶ shared his wife, saint al Zahra'a in housework and child care.

It is well known that this kind of behavior creates within the children a spirit of compassion and cooperation. It also motivates them towards positive cooperation and integration, which helps generate emotions and feelings as well as physical and material potentials, paving the road for the family to reach its aspirations. The credentials of such behavior have always existed in our community. A number of pristine families continue with this level of cooperation.

3- Respect and Estimation:

Each member of the one family must respect the rights of others, and must not exceed boundaries in his behavior towards them. Furthermore, one must be extreme in doing so in order to strengthen and corroborate the bonds of love. The credentials of this issue exist in one forgiving the other for mistakes and peccadilloes, and that one must not degrade the other for his errors.

The greatest prophet (s.a.a.w) was quoted as saying: "A man, being patient with his wife's bad behavior, will receive from Allah the same rewards that were given to prophet Ayoub (a.s.) for his affliction. Moreover, a woman, being patient with her husband's bad behavior, will receive from Allah the same rewards that were given to Asia the daughter of Mozahim."⁷

Imam Abu Jaafar al Baqir (a.s.) was quoted as saying: "God's messenger (s.a.a.w) said:: 'Gabriel commanded me to be good to woman to the point where I thought she can only be divorced as a result of an open lewdness'."⁸

The greatest prophet (s.a.a.w) was quoted as saying: "The best of my nation are those who do not tower over their parents, do not wrong them, while show them compassion."⁹

The Prophet (s.a.a.w) added: their families are their parents, wives, and children.

Regarding father's rights towards his child, Imam al Sajjad (a.s.) was quoted as saying, "And the right of your child is that you should act like one who will be proud of bringing him up in this world, and one who is excused by His Lord for what is between you and him for taking good care of him, and the good results you achieved."¹⁰

B- Family Responsibilities:

Family is the community core, the members of which form the society and enriches it with paradigms, leaders, scientists, teachers, strugglers in the way of God, and martyrs. On the other hand, there can exist corrupts, deviants, and tyrants. Briefly, the good or bad examples that we find in a community are the result and outcome of the family.

At this point, we realize the great responsibility that burdens the family coupled with the gravity of the heavy role that it must hold, which no sane person must ignore or neglect.

Here is a selection of family tasks:

1- Producing children and providing them with good environment.

2- Preparing the children to take part in the life of the community as well as get acquainted with its values and customs.

3- Individuals must be provided with the methods that will help them shape their beings within the community.

4- Stability, security and protection must be provided to the children; the parents are mostly capable of doing so within the community because they are the ones who receive the babies when brought into this world. There is no other institution that can replace the family to achieve these issues.

5- A family must provide ethical, psychological and religious education throughout the different stages of a child's upbringing.

For instance, the nations with public schools and media that work against the teachings of religion, and colleges that neutralize religion affairs will burden families with the teachings of religion. Thanks to the family way of living, an individual will be shaped with the spirituality of righteousness coupled with family emotions and feelings that will qualify him for a life in the community and for raising a new family.¹¹

1- S.a.a.w: Abbreviation for salla allahu alaihi wa alihi, which means God sends bless-ing on him and his household.
2- Makarim al Akhlaq, P. 333.
3- Man La Yahdorhou al Fakih, by Sheikh al Saddouk, Vol. 3, P. 246.
4- Wasayel al Shia, by al Horr al A'mily, Vol. 15, P. 201.
5- Holy Quran, THE ROMANS, verse 21.
6- A.s.: Abbreviation for alaihis-salam, which means peace be upon him.
7- Eqa'b al A'mal, by Sheikh al Saddouq, P. 339.
8- Al Kafi, by al Kolaini, Vol. 5, P. 12, H. 6. Al Fakih, Vol. 3, P. 278, H. 326.
9- Al Tabarsi, Makarim al Akhlaq, P. 333.
10- Ibn She'ba al Harrani, Tohaf al Ouqoul, P. 263.
11- Summary quoted from book “The educational system in Islam”, by Scholar Sheikh Baqir Sharif al Qurashi, P. 69-70.