Year Sixteen
Issue No. 931 - 23/Rabi-2/1432 AH
Corresponding to March 30, 2011 AD

Contents:
* Mihrab Platform:
Bachelorhood Manners and Youth Stage

Mihrab Platform

Bachelorhood Manners and Youth Stage

The main axes of the subject:
1- What does bachelorhood mean?
2- Bachelorhood is not a part of worship.
3- The difference between a bachelor's worship and that of a married person.
4- Woe unto bachelors!
5- What manners do we practice during the stage of bachelorhood?

Purpose:

Explaining the truth of bachelorhood, our evaluation of it and encouraging those concerned to adopt special manners that can help them succeed during this stage.

Exporting the subject:

The Exalted says, "Let those who find not the wherewithal for marriage keep themselves chaste, until God gives them means out of His grace."¹

What does bachelorhood mean?

They say that the bachelor is the grazing ground that has never been grazed.

A bachelor resembles the celibate whose bachelorhood lasted long to the point where he feels no need in women.²

The word bachelor has been taken from such meaning; he is the person who is ready for marrying but instead abstains from it.

Bachelorhood is not a part of worship

Some people might think that neglecting marriage for the sake of devotion to worship and purification is a desired issue that the Sharia encourages or is a praiseful issue because it enables man to be devoted to Allah (The Exalted). However, what the accounts state contradicts entirely with this way of thinking.

Commander of the Faithful was quoted as saying, "A group of the messenger's companions have forbidden themselves from women, from eating in daylight, and from sleeping at night. Therefore, Um Salama told the God's messenger (s.a.a.w)³. The prophet departed his home towards his companions and said to them: "Are you shunning yourselves from women? I make love, eat in daylight and sleep at night. Anyone who does not follow my way does not belong to me.⁴

The same issue applies to women. For instance, it is true they are forbidden from celibacy and from wearing makeup in front of strange men yet, if someone suitable proceeds for their engagement and they reject him under the pretext of living in celibacy and devotion to worship and purification, this kind of issues is dispraised by the Sharia.

Imam al Rida (a.s.)⁵ was quoted as saying, "A woman came to Imam Abu Jaafar al Baqir (a.s.) and said to him: God redress you, I live in celibacy. He asked her: What do you know about celibacy? She said: I do not want to be wedded at all. He asked her: Why? She replied: I seek reward behind this issue. He said: Go away, had there been any goodness in that, Fatima (the daughter of the prophet) would have been more entitled to it; no one can ever advance her towards virtue.⁶

God's messenger (s.a.a.w) was quoted as saying to a man whose name is Akkaf:

Do you have a wife? He replied: No, O messenger of God.
Asked him: Are you wealthy? He replied: Yes.
So he told him: Be married or be a sinner.⁷

The difference between the worship of bachelors and that of the married

Bachelorhood makes one feel free from several responsibilities and rules. On the other hand, we can find that marrying requires burdens such as spouse maintenance coupled with potential children.

In contrast, bachelorhood keeps one distanced from stability and from immunity to wrongdoing. Whereas, marrying builds a high fence of protection and immunity. Imam Abu Abdullah (a.s.) was quoted as saying: God's messenger (s.a.a.w) said: "If man marries he will secure half his religion. He must fear God regarding the other half."⁸

How does the holy lawgiver regard a bachelor's worship and that of the married?

Imam Abu Abdullah (a.s.) was quoted as saying: "Two kneels prayed by a married man is better than seventy kneels prayed by a bachelor."⁹

Imam Abu Abdullah (a.s.) added, quoting the prophet (s.a.a.w) saying: "Two kneels prayed by a married man is better than a bachelor who spends his night in prayers and fasts his day."¹⁰

Woe unto bachelors!

Imam Abu Abdullah (a.s.) was quoted as saying: "A man came to my father – Imam al Baqir (a.s.) – who asked him: Do you have a wife? The man said: No.

My father said: I do not want a life in which I spend a night without a wife. And added: Two kneels prayed by a married man is better than a bachelor who spends his night in prayers and fasts his day. Then, my father gave him seven dinars and told him: Use them for marriage. My father added: God's messenger (s.a.a.w) said: Be married, it is more graceful for you.¹¹

The accounts state that Imam Abu Abdullah (a.s.) quoted God's messenger (s.a.a.w) saying: "The lowest among your dead are the bachelors."¹²

The prophet (s.a.a.w) says: "Your worst are your bachelors, and the lowest among your dead are the bachelors."¹³

What manners do we use to challenge Bachelorhood stage?

1- Chastity

If we understand that a bachelor is in general the men who abstain from marrying although they are rich and capable, then how can they and those who are poor and incapable come under the same term of bachelors.

The Exalted said in his holy book: "Let those who find not the wherewithal for marriage keep themselves chaste, until God gives them means out of His grace."¹⁴

Chastity means abstaining from forbidden issues.¹⁵

It also means abstaining from things that are out or reach, unsuitable, and that which can degrade a person through the eyes of the people.

The verse means: those who do not have money to spend for marrying must abstain from misconduct and guard their chastity.

Commander of the Faithful (a.s.) was quoted as saying:

"The best worship is chastity."¹⁶
"A chaste person is like a king."¹⁷
"Chastity tops each blessing."¹⁸
"Chastity ornaments poverty."¹⁹

2- Modesty:

God's Messenger (s.a.a.w) was quoted as saying: "Allah loves those chaste and modest."²⁰
Commander of the Faithful (a.s.) was quoted as saying:
"Modesty is a way to chastity."²¹
"Modesty is a way to all graces."²²

God's Messenger (s.a.a.w) was quoted as saying: "Modesty is the religion with its entirety."²³

We conclude with a saying that is very useful in relevance. Commander of the Faithful (a.s.) was quoted as saying: "Modesty means turning your eyes away."²⁴

1- Holy Quran, The Light, verses 33.
2- Quoted from Tartib al Aym, by Khalil Bin Ahmad al Farahidi, Vol. 2, P. 1189.
3- (s.a.a.w): Abbreviation for salla allahu alaihi wa alihi, which means God sends blessing on him and his household.
4- Al Mohkam wal Motashabah, Vol. 103, P. 219, H. 13.
5- (a.s.): Abbreviation for alaihis-salam, which means peace be upon him.
6- Bihar al Anwar, by Scholar al Majlisi, Vol. 103, P.219, H. 13.
7- Noun Meem, Vol. 103, P.221, H. 27.
8- Al Kafi, by al Kolaini, Vol. 5, P. 328, H. 1 & 2. Also, Man La Yahdoroho al Fakih, by sheikh al Sadouq, Vol. 3, P.241, H. 1141..
9- Al Kafi, by al Kolaini, Vol. 5, P.328, H. 1. Also al Moqanaa, by sheikh al Mofid, P.76.
10- Man La Yahdoroho al Fakih, Vol. 3, P.242, H. 1147.
11- Al Kafi, by al Kolaini, Vol. 5, P.329, H. 6. Also al tahzib, by sheikh Abu Jaafar al Tousi, Vol. 7, P.239, H. 1046.
12- Al Kafi, Vol. 5, P.329, H. 3. Also al Tahzib, Vol. 7, P.239, H. 1045. Also al Moqanaa by al Mofid, P.76.
13- Kanz al Ommal, by al Mottaqi al Hindi, H. 44449.
14- Holy Quran, The Light, verses 33.
15- Tartib Kitab al Aym, by al Farahidi, Vol. 2, P.1238.
16- Al Kafi, Vol. 2, P. 79, H. 3.
17- Nahjul Balagha, wisdom 474.
18- Perils of Regime & Fluency of Words, Judge al Amidi, wisdom 529.
19- Nahjul Balagha, wisdom 68.
20- A'mali el Sheikh al Tousi, P. 39, H. 43
21- Ghorar al Hokm, wisdom 5527.
22- Bihad al Anwar, by al Majlisi, Vol. 77, P. 211, H. 1.
23- Kanz al Oummal, H. 5761
24- Ghorar al Hokm, wisdom 462.